I Have 23 Years

& you are cosmic
you are (all) anxious
much too difficult
a book: sturgeons &
surgeons alike now
we can order our
nitroglycerin
(que magnifique!)

Neco Wafers Are Delicious

& practical!
oh what fun it is
to practice genuflecting
& not bite.

Build Him Up & Tear Him Down

luckily
neither one us
thinks you desere
any better than this

Mantastic

he pretends not to notice
that I've been slipping testosterone
pills into his chili (those aren't
kidney beans he's swallowing whole)
we're both hoping for a lumberjack.

Absolution

Jesus knows you
are still technically
a virgin--as long as
you keep your eyes closed
& think of Him.

Epigram for Sutcliffe the Hernia

I am the intestinal slippage
busting through your abdominal wall, I
confine you to sweatpants & shy
away from crowds.

Fair Complexion

it's a dal-
matian tan.

Lady Walks Her Pomegranian Dog in the Rain

drip drop drip drop
drip arf drip arf
drip drop arf arf
drip arf arf drop
arf arf drip POP

Cankles

how do they
bend?

Twitch

now she'll have to justify
the gnarling lip-lines & eyes
scrunching eyebrows bucking
& retracting uncontrollably--
she should have told her husband
before the botox

It Hangs There Just to Scare Me

I don't mean to flirt with my students, I just
can't help but picture them picturing me
teaching class naked (except for these heals)
--I'm not a pedophile--they're legal--I'm just
a bit of a narcissist--oh no, not the paddle--I promise
I'll pay better attention next time, Miss Jennie.

Sometimes Knowing Isn't Enough

you say
i love you
thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much--
stretching the words
wide like your arms, meant
to go on forever in all directions--
expansive and infinite, immeasurable
and immense, but I get
stuck at the elbows, always
picturing you
on the other end of the line
puckering your ass

Eliot's Claim to Fame

with a little
"t" & backwards
my name is toilet.

Dad Crush

I just want to
sit on his lap &
ask him for money.